This week's Words

"I been real sick. My dad came to give me a temperature. It was three!........Hundred!" -my niece Natalia



"I am as much to blame for your condition as the media and the devil." -Peggy Hill



"A mind once stretched to a new idea never returns to its original size." -Oliver Wendell Holmes



"I have done nothing. And for that I am ashamed." -The Patriot

Things that bug

Not to sound like a Negative Nancy but these things have been on my mind. Maybe posting them will help me vent:

• People at parades: Hand over your heart, clap at the floats, don't hog the candy. These are things you should have mastered by first grade.
• Whale Wars: When I first saw this show I thought it was a joke. No joke. These bumbling idiots are for real. Shame on Animal Planet for airing it. It's embarrassing.
• Nancy Grace: Another TV show that should be banned. No thank you Nancy for epitomizing all that is wrong with America, feminism, and the media. You aren't helping anyone. Shame on you for exploiting victims of tragedies to promote yourself and your book.
• Daylight Savings Time: Go Arizona!
• Free loaders: I'm sad that you have food stamps and a big screen TV and a tricked out ride. I'm sad that you couldn't take the job because then you would make too much and lose your welfare assistance. Really need help? Ok, but then do everything you can to become independent again. You can't get something for nothing. I can't really go off on this topic as much as I'd like because I still feel guilty for cashing my economic stimulus check.
• Screaming kids: Oh wait, that one is mine. Sorry.

Okay, I feel much better.

Colonial Williamsburg

So the Genie says...

If I found a magic lamp today and got three wishes they would be very different from what I would have wished for a couple of years ago. No private jets for me anymore. As silly as these things might sound I would, without thinking twice, ask for:

• An easier way to shred chicken
• A sippy cup that really doesn't leak
• Energy like the Energizer Bunny

More thoughts on moving...

I wonder how I am going to adjust Mason's schedule two hours for the time difference? Oh just kidding, he slept until 11am this morning. That would be 9am Utah time. We're good.

I wonder if there will be enough 'summer' left for me to do all the things I want to do.

I wonder how good a parent I am going to be without the pool 50 steps away or the beach 15 minutes away. What am I supposed to do when he gets restless? Seriously! What am I going to do everyday???

I wonder if Mason will remember everyone. I wonder how he'll handle hanging out with just mom all summer and then be around all the hectic Heatons in Cedar all the time. He'd better get tough fast!

I wonder if Mason will remember our amazing time here in Virginia.

I wonder how dusty my house is.

Bountiful Baskets

Hi Friends and Family,
I want to start up a Bountiful Baskets site in Cedar City. It's a non-profit co-op for getting fresh produce for great prices. You don't have to sign any contract or anything (ever!), just let me know if the service interests you. This group is very popular all over Arizona and just expanded to Northern Utah. I talked to the people in charge and they said they can start a site in Cedar if 1. someone will volunteer to get trained, which I will (No, I don't get paid) and
2. if we have enough interested people.

Basically they purchase a variety of produce directly and in bulk. Since everything is run on a volunteer basis there aren't middle men to increase the prices.

If you are interested and we do get a site here, it's really easy. Every week or every other week (depending on how many interested people we have in our area) you can see what the offering is, pay your contribution online if you want to participate, and then pick up your produce at a designated pick up site.

From what I understand the basic basket is $15. Every basket offering changes, so you never know exactly what you'll get. I think it's a great price for a laundry basket full of healthy stuff! From time to time they also offer great bread batches, soups, beef, organic only baskets, cases of peaches, etc. You don't have to get a basket every time, or ever for that matter.

For more information you can check out the website at www.bountifulbaskets.org

If you are interested please email me back at asherstarr@gmail.com with your name and email.

More majesty: Ocean or desert

Today I stood in the ocean with my coconut smelling boy in my arms. There is an emotion I feel when I'm at the ocean that is hard to explain. The endlessness of it makes me feel almost breathless. I feel small, but being in the water also makes me feel part of something so big. The sand is almost too hot and the water almost too cold, but neither temperature is quite too extreme so it ends up feeling perfect. I feel like maybe I could take a breath deep enough to fill my lungs with so much salty air that it might actually change what I am. I love to feel the power of the waves, pushing and then pulling, proving my strength is nothing. The only word I could think of during this moment was majesty.

That word is one I often use to describe the area where I am from. If you are from a region that has water, you might come to the desert and feel dry and drained. It takes a while to realize how much sun-faded color we have. The sky gets so blue when it's framed by bluer mountains. The yellow of the valleys is so soft. Have you ever seen red dirt? That rusty sand is the color of adventure. Have you ever watched boiling clouds rotate above the aspens? Have you ever stood at the bottom of a slot canyon so tall the rays of the sun will never warm the sandstone walls? I may be biased but the desert is majestic.

When you have water in such abundance, can you really appreciate it compared to those of us in a constant drought?

I don't know which has more majesty, but I do know one thing for sure. Rainstorms on the coast just make everything more wet, soggy, and humid than before. A rainstorm in the desert is spiritual. It refreshes. It renews. And it smells so earthly good.

Saga of Sunnyside Shortcut: The Journey to Lund

My folks travelled 'cross Sunnyside-

Go through the desert they must.

They bounced over hills

Making a tail of dust.

Minding their own business,

The car rolled along.

Mom reading her book,

While Dad hummed a song.

Then out of nowhere,

Like a runaway train,

The mustangs came running,

Wild hoof, eye, and mane.

Horses with no master

Don't respect the rules.

They dashed onto the road,

Those mad fearless fools.

Onward they thundered,

Dad swerved to the side.

Good thing he turned quickly,

Else surely they'd have died.

Seven beasts crossed the road,

Some hitting the car.

There could be no winners

In this equestrian war.

The dust finally settled,

Broken grass stopped falling.

The vehicle was totaled,

Still the hometown was calling.

The startling crash

Sure shook Rob and Kay.

But even wild horses

Couldn't keep them away.

Brain Malfunction

Like all parents, I have the cutest kid in the world. Sometimes other people think he's cute too. Often in the elevator in our apartment, at the grocery store, at the park, or wherever we are people give my son compliments.

Here's the problem. I'm stupid. Somewhere along the way to parenthood I apparently lost all social skills. My responses to people's kind comments are way WAY ridiculous. The words in my head come out jumbled and whacky.It's already a tricky situation because they aren't really complimenting me but I'm the one who should say something back (he can only say More, Woof, and WAAAAA).

This is a list of typical terrible responses from yours truly:

1. "What the?? Random information"
Comment: What a darling little boy!
Response: Thank you. He ate a hot dog for the first time today. He looks a lot like my sister's boy. He likes to stand on his head.

2. "Dissertation"
Comment: What a cutie! I love those little shoes.
Response: Oh those? I just got them at Payless. I don't like to spend too much money on clothes he's just going to outgrow. Actually, if I had my way he'd run around naked. Less laundry to do. I do so much laundry. He got in the washer yesterday. His dad can fit in the dryer.....on and on...

3. "Confessions of a worn out mommy"
Comment: Look at that smile. Aren't you just a sweetie?
Response: *big sigh* No, no. Not most of the time.

4. "Apples to apples"
Comment: He has the most gorgeous eyes
Response: Yes he does. Much cuter than your kids'.

My main problem is that I need to reduce the amount of words that spill out of my mouth by about 90%. I don't intend on sounding rude, but something goes haywire between my brain and my mouth. A smile and a thank you could save me from a lot of awkward silences.

I hope my brain kicks in again soon. Until then, excuse me.

I just saw the Albertson's sale for this week and just about DIED. There are so many good deals. I'm an avid couponer, but haven't been this summer. And I miss it. Reason #87 that I'm excited to go home.

I exercised for the first time today since having pneumonia. It was not an encouraging experience.

August means...

Growing up, August meant the end of summer, Jeffy's birthday, the Heaton reunion at the ranch, snow cone shacks closing up and school shopping.

Now that we move away every summer August has taken on a new meaning. It means counting down the days until you can go home. It means stop buying food and using up what you've accumulated in your cupboards. It means prematurely packing up because you are so excited to get going. It means wondering how in the world you are going to get your 15month old ball of energy back to Utah without going bonkers during the three day drive.

August has started to feel like April. I have that same excited feeling like when the trees are blossoming and summer is just around the corner. I am so excited to go home. I am so excited that we have a house to go home to. For years we've rallied up friends and family to help us move all of our stuff into a storage unit (and Jason is king of box tetris so we never have an inch to spare!). Not this year. This year we know where we are going home to. We'll hopefully be able to settle in quickly and get on with life.

We miss out on our favorite things during the summer. We plan to fit in as much as we can in September before the weather gets cold. I can't wait to take Mason camping for the first time. Jason is planning fishing and motorcycle trips. I plan on hunting down every member of my huge family and giving them a hug (and not a Heaton-one-hand-on-your-shoulder-side hug).

I can't wait to pull weeds. I can't wait to smell like campfire smoke. I can't wait to say good riddance to parking garages. You have no idea how difficult it is to go grocery shopping here!

I love Virginia. I really do. But I also love the thought of leaving her in a cloud of dust as we drive off into the sunset.

Alice

She drank a bottle called DRINK ME

And up she grew so tall.

She ate from a plate called TASTE ME

And down she shrank so small.

And she changed,

while other folks

Never tried nothing at all.

-Shel Silverstein

It was late at night and I thought he was asleep. Out of the darkness he said, "Ash, I'll always love you." I took a deep breath and considered my amazing luck.

Then he added with a smile in his voice, "most likely."

Well at least it's not swine flu

The good news is that I'm still alive and that I don't have swine flu. I got pretty sick last week and I'm recovering ssssssssllllllllllllllooooooooooooooowwwwwwwlllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyy. Last Thursday night it got really bad and I laid in bed all night just trying to breathe. I was afraid if I fell asleep I would just stop breathing and die.

After being asked a million questions and feeling like I've been poked and prodded from head to toe I realized something neat. I am really grateful to be raised with good healthy standards!

1. Do you smoke? NO
2. How often do you consume alcohol? NOt ever
3. Do you worry that you consume alcohol too much or too often?
4. Do you drink alone? Seriously? NO
5. How many caffeinated drinks do you consume per day? NONE
6. How many sexual partners have you been with this year? This year? hm...gee can't keep track.
7. Do you ever have sex for money or drugs? Wow, NO
7. Do you do drugs? NO
8. Do you use prescription drugs for any use not intended by the prescriber? STILL NO
9. Do you share needles with others? Really really NO

Also, Is HIPAA just a Utah thing? I was amazed at the things that were discussed with doors wide open. One nurse shouted down the hall to the other the type of test she should do on me next.

Nothing like being sick to make you miss home. I miss my doctor, who has treated four generations of my family. I miss my pharmacy, where they are friendly and fast. I miss being able to run to my parents house to borrow a heating pad. I miss my mother in law, who insists we'd all be healthier if we'd just drink our Goji Juice.

Thank heavens for Dionne and Dallas. Thank you for checking on us. Thank you thank you for bringing us dinner. You'd think we hadn't eaten in a week, and maybe we hadn't.