Green toes, ways to die, and I'm really tired

I mowed the lawn yesterday. Front and back. With Jason protesting the whole time. With each row I alternated between love for spring and the outdoors and hate for who ever thought it was such a good idea to lay so much sod (it was me).

Favorite things about mowing the lawn: Being outside. Moving. Completing a task where you can clearly see what needs to be done, how to do it, witness your progress, and have such rewarding and immediate results. It's not laundry. The lovely smell. And that it makes my feet green.

I know you shouldn't mow bare footed or in flips but it completes the experience. So if you ever hear that all my toes were severed you can say "hm, musta been mowing the lawn silly girl". And if you ever hear I've been in a bizarre car wreck, just know it's because I sneezed. Sneezing while driving is so dangerous! I'm certain this will be the cause of my demise. This is something I think about almost daily. 

I want to be more active and enjoying this wonderful weather. But a little bit more than that, I'm really tired. Really really exhausted. And my back hurts. So do my hips. My abs are pretty much absent for the duration. I'll confess that I wake up every morning conspiring how I can sneak in a little more rest that day.

So why aren't you in bed, one might ask? Because sleeping at night is apparently not what this baby wants me to do. Ever. From the beginning I haven't been able to sleep at night. Then there was the bladder stage. Then the morning night sickness stage. Then the crazy hip pain stage which has lessened considerably. Now we have the "getting kinda big" stage mixed with the "why do I work such stupid hours" stage.

Somebody call the Waaaaambulance, right?

Actually I wanted to write this because I'm really excited for the 3am feeding stage. And then the learning to walk stage. And the copy everything big brothers do stage. And the wrestling and the teaching and the cuddling. And then, with all the kids we'll hit the "I don't need you Mom" stage and I will smile bravely and privately cry a little and still sneak in to peak at them at night. And then someday we'll hit the "Mom, I really need you"stage and I will smile lovingly and privately think "I know" and keep trying to be the best mom I know how to be.

Getting festive for St. Pats

The basement was finally ready for paint so we went bold and green for St. Patrick's. (These pictures tone down the "spring green" quite a bit.)

Just wait until you see what we paint for Easter!


{I spy Lightening McQueen underwear}

 

 

This is one of my favorite holidays so we had lots of fun getting ready throughout the week. We had company so I decided against the traditional corned beef, red potatoes, and cabbage. Instead we packed in tons of green veggies and had fajitas and quinoa salad. Oh, and spinach muffins but I had to fill them with pudding to encourage consumption.

I searched high and low for green punch. Not just any green punch but the kind from my childhood. It comes in a milk-style jug and tastes like melted popsicles. I've truly been craving it for years. I thought this would be the perfect occasion to indulge but alas, it was no where to be found. As I inquired at different grocery stores I gathered it may have been off the shelves for the years. I was tempted to buy as many green popsicles as I could find and try to recreate the flavor but gave in and just made lemonade. 

I'll blog if you blog

Lindsey says we need to write more. I'll admit I am still catching up from last year and post dating like crazy. I have a lot of work to do. But I also pointed out that she hasn't really posted since returning to the states. Exactly, she says. So we blog.

For the record I hate the word blog. It sounds like a yucky cold symptom. As in "he sounded so blogged up when I talked to him on the phone." Or it could be a description for when you are feeling scrubby. As in "I ran to the store after working out. I looked like a total blog when I ran into an old boyfriend."

As usual though, I am having a hard time feeling inspired with this forced writing feeling. I have some good topics I want to write about, but I'm just not feeling it right now. So what else?

Well, for starters I am writing in the bathroom. (ew, that's so bloggy). Jason and Mason are out exploring in the rhino with the Johnson boys. Later they are all going to a basketball game at the University. I started trimming Eli's hair until I felt regretful and stopped. Now he's in the bath and I'm typing and supervising. Most people would see Eli and be of the opinion that his shaggy hair is still in need of a trim. At least now it's out of his eyes and not past his neck anymore. Eli started hating the bath a few days ago. Today I put him in first and then turned on the water. It seems to have done the trick and he's contentedly playing.

I can always write about food. I made Hawaiian haystacks last night for the first time. I've been craving leftovers all day. Actually all night as well. I worked until midnight and when I got home I had a serious debate with myself about eating again at that late hour. I guess I lost since I went to bed without. Janett and Brady came over for dinner and brought delicious homemade strawberry lemonade. It was amazing. I wonder if it is normal to love food so much.

A while back we had a Chinese dinner complete with chop sticks and fortune cookies. It is fun to have Mason grown up enough to be interested when I show him where China is on the map and to talk about different cultural things. Eli devoured each egg rolls in two bites. He is an eating machine.  Mason earnestly tried to use the chop sticks. He is so determined. They make dinner time entertaining, that is when I'm not pulling out my hair in frustration as Eli stuffs his face and makes a huge mess and Mason eats like a bird and just wants to be done.

*Eli is putting his face under the running water and then looking at me and acting shocked until I laugh. Then he smiles and laughs and does it again.*

Mason's favorite food is Otter Pops. He asks to have two, which I don't let him because one always melts and makes a mess. So now he asks for "two but one at a time". I can be okay with that. He will bring me an Otter Pop, scissors, and a wash cloth. My job is to cut it open and then wrap it up so his hands don't freeze.

Here's a food picture for you. We had extra cottage cheese left over from making stuffed shells. Eli had eaten everything else in the house so I dished some up for him. Cottage cheese is not a food I can eat plain and feeding him was making me gag. Mason offered to help out and cheerfully fed his little brother.

In unrelated news, I decided to give up being a slacker mom for Lent. It's a bit harder to track than other years when I've given up meat or chocolate but it needs to be done. The other day Mason came in while I was reading my scriptures and asked what I was reading about. "Robbers". What are they stealing, he asked. It suddenly occurred to me that he is old enough to read what I read, not just the basic scripture stories that we stick to. So he sat with me while I paraphrased each verse into understandable words. I decided we need to do it together every day. The next day we got to the part where the bad guy is hung in a tree. I hesitated there since that's pretty violent for a 3 year old. Mason didn't seem bothered by it, asked a couple questions, and then asked "then what?"

Mason likes the story of Samuel the Lamanite and will flip to that picture in his scriptures. He will show me the bad guys that are shooting arrows, laugh, and say "but they missed" like it's the biggest joke.

We went out to Three Peaks yesterday. Despite the rough offroading in the rhino, Mason quickly fell asleep in the back. Even Eli dozed off and on. After a couple hours we got out to play on the rocks. I love the cool rock formations we have in this area.

During one of my early psychology classes at college I learned about how Australian aborigines would just take off into the bush. Walkabouts, as they are called, involved few supplies, solitude, and introspection. They were both spiritual journeys and tests of survival. The goal was enlightenment and self actualization. Okay, I don't know how much of this is the white man's opinion on what was happening, but I fell in love with this idea and started planning my adventure. I picked an area out west of town in the desert and planned to be gone 3-4 days. I figured I'd take a knife and some kind of empty water container and that's it. I learned about edible plants, shelters, and how to create a green house effect on desert plants to create enough condensation to get drinking water. I added a plastic bag to my supply list. I spent time thinking about the dangers of rattlesnakes, big cats, and dehydration. I couldn't wait. And then- I didn't do it. I never actually decided against it. I simply didn't do it. I didn't make time for it or schedule it in. (side note: scheduling a walkabout is probably not how it's supposed to happen, but I didn't want to freak out my family, co workers, and roommates by just wandering off). Life went on. I got engaged, married, and then we started moving all over the nation. Had a baby. Then another.

Yesterday I sat on the knobby rock watching hawks float above me while the spring sun unsuccessfully tried to warm me up. I eyed a little indent in one of the rock formations and started planning on how I could turn it into a shelter if I had picked this spot as my temporary desert home. I considered a small muddy section of ground that was moistened by water seeping from the rock and wondered how late into the season it would stay wet. Suddenly I realized that I will never have my walkabout. I will never live alone in the desolation, even for a few days. I will not have hours of silence to think about my life and my purpose. This new life is the adventure I have chosen. And you don't wander away from your family in hopes of achieving some greater understanding of life. You stay in the trenches and grow in ways you never dreamed possible. I have discovered so much about myself by how I handle the 100th time a kid throws food across the room. I see the world so differently just by looking through a child's eyes. I hope someday my family will be interested in doing survival trips together. Until that day, just getting to church on time feels pretty extreme. 

I thought I was done on this topic but there is a little voice in my head that keeps whispering "But you did leave them. You do value your own adventures more than anything, even being together."

I don't know how to explain this, but it's partly true. I do leave sometimes. I didn't intentionally plan it this way, but when each of my babies was around 10 months old, I left. As in, out of the country left. When Mason was a baby we went to Ireland. And a few months back I left baby Eli and when to The Netherlands. Is it any different? I wouldn't say they were abandoned in any way. Both times my mom took the baby and this latest time Jason took Mason to a family reunion at the lake. I wouldn't even say that I "needed to get away". It was more like there was an opportunity that I didn't think would present itself again. Is it any different? Is traveling to the other side of the world any better than walking out into the wilderness? All things considered it might be safer to stay local and camp out compared to so much travel, transportation, strange cities, language barriers,  and sleeping in airports as I tried to get back. Is it any different? I like to think it is. Even though I do leave, I cannot wait to get back. I value adventure and travel, but not more than being together. When my family is not together it physically hurts. I suppose the question is will I do it again?

So there we go. Haircuts and boys. Food and robbers. Rocks and airplanes. That is a pretty good snapshot of my life. 

love Love Day

Valentines Day will forever be one of my favorite days of the year. Not the dumb commercial stuff or obligatory gifts. We skip that stuff and just focus on the LOVE.  I love it. I love telling people I love them. I have a lot of love going on. And as Mason often asks "why do we have so many families?".  I feel one of our biggest blessings is an abundance of people to love and to be loved by.

Love Mason's pure glee as he got his first class valentines. We made cute "smarty pants" valentines for him but I forgot to take a picture.

Love doing projects with the kids for every occasion. And double love the use of vegetables.

Love how a pad of heart shaped sticky notes is all it takes to 1. make a boy happy and 2. decorate the house.

Love monkeys. Of course.

Love food. This year we went for appetizers and made stuffed mushrooms, twice baked potatoes, deviled eggs, stuffed shells, and grilled eggplant. Some days you just need to use up the produce :)

And love babies in boots. Nothin' but boots.

Where are the pictures of my main man? I don't know. I think I have some good ones of him covered in drywall dust, which is his latest fashion. I'll post them in a bit.

Love to all,
ash

The End...of 2011

Christmas is over and the New Year is just around the corner. It's time to look back at 2011. It seemed to go by very fast. I remember Mason's first year going by so slow. That was probably due to severe lack of sleep so in actuality this year went by so fast because I slept through so much more of it!

This year we had our 5th wedding anniversary. Jason turned 29, Mason turned 3, I turned 27, and Eli turned one. It was a year of starts. Mason started ICSD pre-school and started riding the bus. I started working for SkyWest again, but this time at the Cedar City station. Jason started working for Timberline Cabinets. Eli started slobbering and still hasn't stopped. He also started crawling, walking, climbing, and causing general destruction.

It was a year of changes. For the first summer EVER we didn't move to some random state for a 4 month adventure. Instead we grew a garden, went to parades, and spent a lot of time at the ranch. We sold our Chevy. Jason traded his Vulcan for a Rhino (talk about a bargain). I had my appendix out. Eli got stitches. Mason went from a toddler bed, to a new toddler bed, to a twin bed, to a new twin bed. Sometimes he even sleeps there.

We continue to be in charge of the 11 year old scouts for our tri-ward area. We have a really great group of boys right now. Mostly because they show up and think we're cool. Maybe it's the fire building they think is cool. Jason is also the ward mission leader.  It still blows his mind that the full time missionaries can text. This is Mason's last month in nursery. In January he'll go to Primary. Eli...sort of hates church and we spend most of the time out in the hall.

Life is good. We're happy and healthy. 2011 was pretty darn good. Here's to 2012!

love thy neighbor

We love love love our neighbors. These three little kids are just delightful. I'm not sure they realize Jason and I are adults. Mason is always begging to go play with them. The other day he asked me if Miss D and Miss S were his sisters.

Pictures (clockwise from upper left):
Mister R fixing my mailbox.
Miss S helping in our garden.
Mister R posing with my nephews.
Miss D and Master Mason dressing up.
Mason helping fix the mailbox...or attacking me, can't remember which.
Miss D giving Mason a ride. She's so good at sharing.

Hey summer! Bring it on!

one month of nature

I love the variety of spring. These pictures were taken around the yard in April. 

 Now enough variety, bring on the nice weather.

best(s)

Jason is the best scout leader.
We have the best backyard for scouts.
We have the best scouts.

We've had a lot of fun this spring working on first aid, plant and animal ID, fire starting, fire building, going on a compass orienteering trip/Easter egg hunt, and going from store to store pleading for donations for the Scout Expo. If nothing else I hope that Scouts has taught these boys how to properly talk to store managers!

boys and their toys

Since we aren't leaving this summer (do I say that a lot? I just love saying it) we decided to put in a garden.

I'm sure Jason just *hated* every minute in the bobcat.

Here's the amazing drip system Jason created. Even if the whole garden is a failure, this was a huge success that I'm very proud of. Not that I can take any of the credit... still proud!

And no day of dirty work is complete without being serenaded by a didgeridoo.

Education

This weekend I learned:


There is a much easier way to make cake balls.
Mason responds to my warnings better if I count backwards from 5 instead of from 1 to 3.
Beans really have rocks in them. Mason and I found 4.
100 lbs of wheat fill 2 and 3/4 buckets.


Eli thinks he wants 6 oz but his stomach only fits about 4.
I can wake up hours before the kids and not hate it.
Marshaling an aircraft makes me smile for 72 hours straight.
The average blanching time for cauliflower and broccoli is about 3 minutes.
If Jason signs up to substitute primary I will end up teaching.
4 year olds are really really wiggly.
One pot of beans feeds three once, five the next day, and then one more, and then three more. There is one bowl left over last I checked. Luckily not everyone was hungry.
Similarly, 1/2 batch of bread makes countless Doughjons (scones), three round loaves, and feeds everyone.
I can feed an unexpected crowd, clean up, get the kids to bed amidst the chaos, and really enjoy it all.
Games upstairs, movie down, and I pick alone time in the den.

Marching on

It's mid March already! I keep thinking that I'll catch up with writing and the other bazillion projects when life slows down. It's faulty thinking. Life just keeps picking up speed. Now that I have 2 minutes to sit and type my mind has gone blank. So much for meaningful essays. Here's a few random blurbs instead:

I have two incredible boys. One is almost three, one is three months. Guess which one sleeps through the night and which one wakes up frequently? It's not the obvious answer.

I get to talk to Lindsey weekly now. We found a time that we're both available and can chat for a bit while she drives home and my kids are asleep. It's wonderful to be current with your bestie. We'll always be close even if we live on opposite sides of the world and never talk, but it's really great to be in regular communication. Also, she brought me chocolate covered pretzels and a greeting card as big as place mat. That's why she's the best. 

We bought a huge 60lbs bucket of sprouts. Have I written about my sprouting obsession yet? Ooooh. I don't think I have. I will soon.

I FINALLY made cake balls after hearing everyone rave about them forever. They weren't perfect, but it was fun. Yes, cake balls are indeed noteworthy.

I asked Mason where he wanted to go for his birthday in a couple months. I suggested the beach or the zoo. He said he'd wanted to go to Kristi's house. 

Also noteworthy that Jason and I fixed our garbage disposal. It made me feel very handy. We are like real homeowners now! Really though, doing stuff like that together is better than any date out on the town. We're getting ready to plant our garden. We'll probably fall deeply in love with each other all over again :) Cooperation and hard work were the things that started our relationship and also the things that seem to draw us closer together still.

I was very recently telling my mom how overwhelmingly happy I was staying at home with my kids. I didn't want to go anywhere, not even the library. Not because I was too tired or scared to go out, I just didn't want to. I gloried in our simple life and quiet days. We were so content. And then a random job opportunity came up. And for some reason I went for it. And for some reason I got it. And for some reason I'm loving it. It's been a whirlwind of changes but I think it's going to work out. Craziness.

Amy took Eli for a whole night. Even though he's a great sleeper I slept so well knowing she was "on duty" and didn't even get sick to my stomach being separated from him. Ironically he woke up several times during the night which is very unlike him. Poor Ames. Oops, I just gave away the answer to the first question. 

Eli's baby blessing was a few weeks ago. Both sides of the family came for the occasion. We were only missing four brothers out of the 18 combined siblings. Mason loved being entertained by all his cousins. When he woke up the next day he wandered around the quiet empty house asking where his friends were.

And because no entry is complete without a picture, here's the fam. I just realized I look absolutely nothing like my mother.

Tuned up

A while ago my uncle decided to move into my mom's childhood home. There was a lot of sorting and cleaning out to be done. My mom asked for her piano. It was given to her by her parents when she was about ten years old. When I was a kid we were never allowed to play it and it eventually fell into disrepair. Mom asked me if I would keep the piano at my house, which I was more than delighted to consent to.

My uncles brought it to town in the back of a truck. We called up a bunch of "muscles" to help get it my house. Then Mom found a piano repairman to assess the damage. Every single key had fallen which meant every broken piece had to be fixed along with a lot of other repairs. At last it was restored to it's original, working condition.

It's been a long time since I've played. I was never very good but it's still disappointing to see how much ability I've lost, but also surprising to see what my fingers remember. I struggle through new music but I can still play some of my beautiful old recital pieces from memory.

Most of all I love having it in my home. I love to think of my mother sitting at the piano as a girl. I think about my Grandpa carefully reconstructing and painting the bench. I think of all that this instrument has witnessed over the years, the hours of practicing, the music performed, and the memories made. At my Grandma and Grandpa's house it was covered in photos of the family. I feel really honored to have it at my house.

So I practice. Jason asks me to keep playing. Mason sings while I plunk out "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". And baby Eli stops fussing when I hold him close and play one handed.

Nesting

I've always thought that the "nesting instinct" was similar to pregnancy cravings, or colic; a term that is thrown at every similar characteristic. The words are used too generally and given too much vague significance. Pregnant women are totally crazy but I don't think that means we should go around labeling all our behaviors. I guess I've just always been annoyed when hormones are blamed for behavior. Ladies, let's take some accountability for how we act.

Anyway... I've been going on a cleaning/organized kick around the house and Jason is certainly enjoying teasing me about nesting. Whether nesting is legit or not, the fruits of my labor are satisfying. Too bad I haven't spent more of my energy on detailing the cars or knitting baby booties.

This is how I nest :)

The Gear

The Storage Room

To be fair I alphabetized my sauce and seasoning packets. Even I smirked at myself. I call it organization meets boredom. Call it what you want.

A rare productive day

Once upon a Saturday I had a rare productive day. By noon I had picked up my Bountiful Basket, had a pressure canner full of bottled chicken, the extra chicken was in the crock pot for dinner, banana bread in the oven, a dehydrator full of apples and bananas, AND a happy toddler. Take THAT Martha Stewart. Usually any undertaking of that sort means sacrificing Mason's happiness, my sanity, and certainly the cleanliness of my house. For some reason it all just worked that day. I started wondering what else I could conquer.

Okay, I bribed Mason with a donut. His first donut ever. He liked the sprinkles. I also let him stay in his pajamas. He loves his pajamas.


I'm also failing to mention that there was a scary moment when I was certain my obituary would read "death by pressure canner" and I caused a bit of home damage. That is why the title of this post is not: a rare successful day. But close enough.

WHAT?

I love having our own house. I really do. But we are so used to being in closer quarters that it's getting hard to communicate. Before: Say something quietly and the other person hears you no matter where we are in the apartment/hotel room. Now: Say something. Say it again louder. Other person yells back "what?". Try to repeat. Go find the other person and start over.

We actually have to go find the other person to talk. Sometimes finding the other person is pretty difficult. The other day I needed Jason's help. I looked all over the house, went out front, hollered out back, tried the side of the house, and finally stood in the middle of the house and yelled "Hello????". Jason came up the stairs about then, he was in the storage room the whole time.

It's funny how adding a bit a space can have such a huge effect on our daily interactions. Funny how adding a bit of space can have such a huge effect on junk accumulation... but I'll save that rant for another day.

The new routine

I laugh at the word routine. We are on the go so much we really don't have much of a routine. Poor Mason probably has no concept of home yet. We seem to sleep in a few different places every week. As a matter of fact he seemed to attach to my brother's tree house and think that was his home. We are trying to fit in as much 'real living' as we can before the weather gets too cold. Every couple of days we are packing up to head back to the mountain or to visit family. I feel like we are continuously packing & unpacking. But when we are home our day goes something like this:

We sleep in as late as Mason will let us. We work around the house at a leisurely pace. We run errands around town. We visit with family and neighbors. We check new places and eateries that popped up while we were out of town. We make big plans. We spend a few evening hours weeding and working on the yard. That's about it.

Don't worry though, Jason finds plenty to do to keep busy and still feel "productive". Here he is unloading the truck at the dump...sporting his awesome fu man chu.

Life is good.

missed my mountain

(Three of my favorite people in the whole wide world)

We've been lucky to be able to spend a lot of time up on Cedar Mountain this month. We go to the ranch. We go to fish. We go to explore. We go just to drive. I want my little family to feel as familiar with the mountain as I do, to have as many memories, and to feel as happy as I do. That's going to require a lot of time, good thing they are as willing and excited to head out as I am.

The above picture is from Wood's Ranch. We met up with our friends, the Johnson's, and my friend Lindsey for some serious fresh air. We fished, we played with fire, and made the best ever tin foil dinners. It was a nice evening on the mountain, but driving down the canyon I was the happiest I've been in a long time.

One day we went to Navajo Lake to fish... in the rain... It was beautiful and Mason was a good sport. On our way home we explored a few random side roads until the bumps and rattles of the jeep lulled Mason to sleep. We stopped at one of my favorite places at the bottom of Ashdown Gorge. Here's a picture. Let's just say I was pretty startled to see this huge boulder next to the road. It certainly wasn't there last time I was.

Now the leaves are changing and the mountain is turning golden. I try to pretend it's not cold. The last time we were at the ranch I tried to get into the pond. I made it to my knees. It was painfully cold. I try not to notice the days are getting shorter. Oh how I missed my mountain.

We made it

Each year we go live in some far off place. Each year we try to get back for Labor Day. We have work weekends at the ranch on Memorial Day and Labor Day. Extended family converges to open or winterize the cabins and work on various projects.

This year I never would have thought we'd make it back in time. Jason was required to work an extra week after the office closed and we were still three days worth of driving away. Good thing I married a go getter. He worked some really late nights and proactively contacted customers and had his whole schedule cleared by Tuesday. He checked in with his supervisors continuously until we realized there really wasn't any work left to do and we hit the road.

We stopped at Aunt Calva's in Texas the first night. It was heavenly to not sleep in a hotel. She and Steven made it hard to want to leave and get back in our cars. We made it to Albuquerque the second night and to the ranch by Friday afternoon. Jason got 59 mpg across the reservation! Mason was excellent and did great until the last morning. Then he pathetically begged for his house and to go swimming.

I wondered if he would be shy, but as soon as we got to the lodge he saw my dad and left with him on a four wheeler, never looking back. He loved playing in the pond, playing with his cousins, well... he just loved being able to play and run around and not be confined to a small living space or car.

We went to church in Alton, where 499 other members swelled the attendance far beyond it's usual congregation. Dave's new baby was given and name and blessing afterward. When we finally had our fill of family, great food, and crisp mountain air we got back in our cars for one last leg of our journey...we finally made it home!

Sweet cousins

My boys in the paddle boat

Hyrum and Mason keeping each other entertained.

om nom nom

Because I am thinking about home...
and because I am sitting bored in a dark hotel room while the boys nap...
and because we have not been eating quality food lately...
and because I just wish I knew where to eat that had good fixin's...

I present: (da da da da!)
Ashley's Official List of Top Ten Foods I Wish I was Eating Right Now *Cedar Version*

1. Anything made by my mom
2. Taste of Hawaii's Beef Teriyaki and Rice (half regular, half spicy)
3. Pastry Pub's Chicken Tostada or Turkey Sandwich on a cheese bagel
4. My dad's homemade fruit ice cream
5. Chicken Chile Tamale from that nice Hispanic lady in a white van
6. Caribbean Passion Jamba Juice, no longer available in Cedar
7. Pizza Factory's bread sticks
8. Anything from Bruno's
9. Costa Vida's Chicken salad, more rice than beans with spicy ranch
10. Cream Cheese tarts from a Green Show wench (offered seasonally during the Shakespearean Festival)