vent

I give up. It's noon and I'm ready for this day to be over. Or maybe a do-over? I think I'll vent here so that when Jason gets home he will be spared from my drah-mah! I didn't sleep well. Woke up to a headache. Jason had early meetings so it's up to me to get myself and the boys to church before nine. It's not easy to do on a normal day but we also had a late night and Eli's been sick. I have to remember not to say the word hurry to Mason because he either goes into triple times slow motion or he just starts screaming. It's a crazy windy gray day so I didn't even do my hair after I showered and just let it go all Madusa like. I thought I actually pulled off an on time arrival. Then as I pulled out of the drive I realized the low tire from yesterday was completely flat. I put the boys in jackets and figured we'd walk. Jason called and came to the rescue, but we were late. Hey, the Starrs are finally here. Let's walk in late and sit in the front while the whole chapel waits and watches so the prayer can begin. Aaaand it's ward conference so the place is packed. Before I can catch my breath the boys are whining and wiggling and I'm losing hope. Eli is screaming soon so we're out in the hall. By the third hour I just quit. I pack up our bag and walk out. Then I remember I don't have a car. Well walking is good for you so we head to the trail. Too bad the shortcut to get to the trail is muddy. Shoes off. It doesn't matter. I finally think things are looking up when our infamous wind comes gusting into town. I'm certain I'm about to pull a "Marilyn" all the way home so I juggle Eli and my bad to one arm and try to hold my skirt down with the other without dropping my shoes or losing my sanity. We're almost to our street when Eli starts pulling on the hair at the back of my head. Why why why? When did he pick up that strange habit? I hope Jason remembers to pick up Mason from nursery.

I'm not sure that any of these things are particularly annoying. Shoot, that means it's me... nap time please.

i hate shopping

Dear Mall Owner:
Don't put the maternity store next to Victoria's Secret. Standing outside, pondering which door to go into, knowing you have to choose what you should be wearing and what you want to be wearing, walking away empty handed, and then leaving the mall early bummed out.

No pregnant lady wants to buy matronly clothes with pleats and elastic waist bands when there is a much more appealing store so close. And no, we're not going to go next door because that's not going to help us feel much better about our protruding stomachs.

It's just not good for business. Just saying...

If ever...

If ever you think: tonight would be a great night to make a super amazing cake for the party tomorrow...
DON'T! Try to remember that big projects and late nights don't go so well when your husband isn't around to rescue you.

If ever you think: I should bake these three layers at the same time since they fit...
DON'T! They don't really fit and will take forever to bake.

If ever you think: These two pans seem really full but that's okay because it will make really nice round tops...
DON'T! You will learn the hard way that pans-too-full equal huge overflowing/burning messes.

If ever you think: It's really smokey in here...
YOU SHOULD! Because it is!

If ever you think: Open the window and light some candles...
YOU SHOULD! It will help a little but the smell will still make you throw up. Seriously!

If ever you think: I should clean this up now because it will be easier when it's still hot...
DON'T! Almost everything catches fire when contacted with that degree of heat and now you have melted utinsils and ashes in your sink.

If ever you think: It's not that bad...
IT IS! Your whole house, your hair, all the other layers of cake, and even your sheets smell like burning death.  



Jason I miss you.

Volcanic Ash

I have to admit I have a bit of a temper. I get ticked & I can't hold it in. I can't manage to behave myself. So without further ado, meet Volcanic Ash.

She's nasty. She's bitingly sarcastic and demeaning. You'll know when she's rearing her ugly head by a series of eye rolls, head shaking, and "are you an absolute idiot?" expressions.

I went to Wal-Mart to print some digital pictures. I took my poor mom who had never used the print kiosks before. I told her it would be quick, easy, and cheap. LIE.

The machines were super slow, the printing took almost a half hour for my 11 pics. The worst was when we were dashing out the door, mutually frustrated and late for appointments, and I realized the price tag on my envelope said $40! For 11 pictures! wHaT?!

I went back the next day to tell them they made a mistake. Imagine how ugly it got when they said it was not a mistake. When I get mad I tend to use very intelligent comments like "Are you freaking kidding me?" and "You've got to be crazy" and "This is SO NOT OKAY." Also, I know it really pleases the person I'm talking to if I talk really slowly and forcefully in hopes I can pound my message into their dense brain.

In the end they did a price correction that still left me fuming and with a deficit in my budget. But Volcanic Ash doesn't cool down easily. To make myself better I won't drop the issue until I get at least $10 more refunded, if not a complete refund for my pain and suffering. Also, I'm telling everyone within my circle of influence to NEVER use the Wal-Mart photo center. EVER. The UPS Store would have charged under $7 total for the same prints. Wal-Mart did not have the price anywhere for 5X7 enlargements and they feel fine charging me for the 8X10 price.

Silly me for assuming the inch increase would still be a reasonable price. I guess they think 160 times the price is reasonable.