this week's excuse

I keep declaring "this is the week I'm going to get caught up on writing".
Let's see.
One week I got sick.
Last week Lindsey lent me a book I wanted to read.
This week Janett's house flooded- from the ceiling on down! Though they are the easiest house guests I have spent my spare time with baby Brylie and trying to imagine how in the world I'll ever handle three kids full time.

So I'm going to write a few quick things so that I have less catching up to do later.

I'm happy because I made a divine roast in my sun oven yesterday. House stayed cool. Energy was free. Food was delicious.
 
I'm tired because Mason woke up in the middle of the night (okay it was actually 11:30 so I was delighted to go back to sleep with hours of rest awaiting) acting like a total demon. As in growling and hissing his demands at me furiously. He was thirsty, but come on man, your approach is a little intense.

I'm sad because the garden isn't in. And with Jason working so much I think it's up to me. I will be very very sad if that means it's not going to happen.


I'm excited for our airport to get jets. Honestly I don't want to change aircraft and I'm very fond of the prop planes we have now. However this means my shift will change to where I'm not working at 4:30 am or getting off at midnight. I really look forward to getting more sleep.

I wish Jason was home more often. He's working overtime this week at first job and then going in to second job for three or so more hours. That's 6am to 8pm. And then sometimes I work evenings at either 8 or 10pm. This crazy schedule is temporary and I remind myself of that fact several times a day. I get especially sad when I put the kids to bed because some times that means Eli has only seen Jase when he comes home to change for about 15 minutes. It's only temporary. But I miss my husband.

Snapshot: busy busy April

I am writing...wait...this could be better.
I am "righting from the wrong" computer.
That alone starts me off in a funky "this isn't going to work" mood.
Also, the camera is dead, so this will be a picture free post, which I don't prefer.
Also, Jason is watching an interesting documentary right behind me so I am distracted.
I'm tired but I'm also tired of making myself feel guilty all the time about not recording life.
So here you go, Self, a grumpy little post with love from me to you.

This month has been nuts. I think I've been saying that since December. Perhaps since high school graduation actually.

Bro-in-law Joe was able to get a weekend home before he goes to Afghanistan. All of the Starr family converged at our house for the occasion. Also it was Easter. For one night we headed out to the desert for some early spring camping and adventuring. Though it was great fun it ended in stressful circumstances that I don't think I have the energy to expound on right now. Part of which included driving the Rhino out of the middle of no where for hours. That part was actually delightful but the cold and wind didn't help my cold much. I wish I had a better immune system. I get everything that goes around and then I'm sick forever. It's been over a week and this is the first day I feel human again.

Janett had her baby which was perfect timing with all the family in town. I love that we have room for everyone, but it got close this time. We used all but the last two bath towels. We received an exorbitant amount of towels when we were married so that's really saying something. Eva Dean stayed for the week to help with the baby. Let's be honest. That baby is a peach and hardly cries. Sometimes it's just nice to have extra time to hold babies and think about Life. Mason grew increasingly sad as each family member left.

Luckily, to cheer Mason, we were watching Jennifer's dog for the week while she visiting Jeff in AZ. I've contemplated getting a dog for the boys. They both love animals so much. This dog is especially convincing. However, it's hard to love a dog who you curse all night. She had rough nights and I think was homesick. I think we'll be waiting quite a while before we consider pets again.

This weekend was the Iron County Emergency Preparedness Expo. I was more excited for it than Christmas. Dad was on the committee, Dave was the key note speaker, and I had a booth promoting Bountiful Baskets. Though the event went a little long it was a great time. I get a bit spastic when it comes to gear anyway, but the emergency variety gets me especially giddy. On Wednesday I helped out with a Relief Society activity and did a mini workshop on 72 hour kits. It's certainly been a month focused on preparedness.

I felt like I had a lot more to write about but I guess that will pacify the guilt monster for now. I'm going to head to bed after peeking on the two little charmers across the hall.

Oh the joy, another BOY!

The third Starr boy will be making his grand entrance in August!

I'm unbelievably  

excited

happy

exhausted

overwhelmed

I only have two hands, so three kids is going to be a challenge. I was relieved to find out we're having a boy, at least we'll be in familiar territory. Hearing the news of "boy" felt just perfect.

I hardly can think of words to describe how I feel about this baby. I feel so aware of him, so bonded already. I wonder what he'll be like since the older boys were so opposite as babies. Can you have a third opposite? All I know is I keep thinking of the three amigos (and the song My Little Buttercup has been in my head nonstop) and how much I desire my sons to be best friends. 

 I love Jason's hand on my stomach pretending to feel the fluttering movement that can't be perceived from the outside. I love Mason's concern (Oh no, I don't know the new baby's name!) and his enthusiasm (daily: I am so excited for the new baby. I can't believe we're having THREE boys!). I love how Eli points out babies everywhere we go. He just about jumps for joy when near his new baby cousins. I feel a little sorrowful as I hold Eli at night and witness his vanishing infancy. I don't want him rushing into boyhood too soon. 

This pregnancy has been so different. I've not written as much as I should have, I am so very tired all the time. But Amigo has a blog of his own that I'll share soon. 

One thing I'm grateful to have learned~

I don't have to worry about having favorites.

I don't have to worry about having enough love. 

I don't have to worry about comparing my kids. 

After One, I learned about all consuming unconditional love. 

After having Two, I learned the infinite capacity of love. 

I can't wait to see what I'll learn with Three.

Just put it in the bag

This is what we worked on all weekend during General Conference. I didn't realized how out of date our 72 hour kits were until I pulled out Mason's and found diapers still inside. Then I opened ours and found food that had been expired for years. You'd think, growing up the way I did, I would have perfect 72 hour packs and be prepared for any disaster. I'm learning that it's a work in progress... and you can't stop working or preparing.


Though not perfected, I have come up with a good system to keep everything current and rotated. I started getting overwhelmed trying to find the best way to pack it all. After several calls and questions to my dad he gave me the best advice: "Just put it in the bag".

I still think it will be easier to organize once the boys are big enough to carry their own bags. I finally had to realize that one pack for all emergencies is pretty idealistic. One of my favorite achievements from this process is coming up with better basic car kit. We keep it in the closet and put it in whichever car we are headed out in for an adventure. It has all the basics and I've already used it a few times (and, here's the key, replaced what I used.)

My name is Ashley and I am a nerd.